The Brown Skin Barrier - Overcoming Prejudice

Because my family is bi-racial (my son married and had children with a Zimbabwean woman), people often approach me for an opinion after an incident like the one involving the Harvard professor who, after returning home from an overseas trip, found himself locked out of his home.

A concerned neighbor, who did not recognize Professor Gates, called 911 when she saw him breaking open the door to his house.

Shortly thereafter, the police arrived at the scene.
An ensuing argument between Gates and the policeman resulted in the professor being arrested, and he attributed his arrest to racial profiling.
Even President Obama weighed in on the incident by claiming in a televised press conference that, although he did not know the details of the incident, it was apparent that the arresting officer "acted stupidly." Interestingly enough the Gates matter dovetailed with a discussion that I had with my granddaughter. During the conversation, Sekai informed me that a kindergarten classmate had attributed her unwillingness to play with Sekai to the fact that she "didn't like brown skin.
" It was Sekai's first negative brush with racial differences.

From the beginning, I have told my granddaughters that I prefer their brown skin to my frecklier white skin that spotlights every blotch and blemish. (Putting my skin next to theirs is all that is needed to verify the sincerity of my statement.
) I have also expressed my opinion that their skin allows them to look good in every color, while my skin seems to limit me to wearing a few colors.

(For example, I look positively ghastly in colors like gold, yellow, and other pastels.

) My comments combined with the constant affirmations from other family members have resulted in both girls truly appreciating and being proud of the color of their skin.

So, it is no wonder that Sekai was caught off guard by her classmate's comment.

While it was heartbreaking to witness Sekai's distress over the incident, it was a perfect opportunity for me to discuss the racial discrimination that Sekai is certain to experience at one time or another. I explained, "Prejudging means judging an issue before finding out all about it.
A person who prejudges is often said to be prejudiced.

Because people's opinions affect the way they act, prejudice can lead to discrimination. Discrimination is treating another person unfairly because of a prejudice (a prejudged opinion).

" After a discussion of the different kinds of prejudice including, prejudices regarding sex, age, race, nationalities, religion, politics, social status, and economic status, I explained to Sekai, "When you discriminate against people, you can cause them to be left out of groups and activities.
You can hinder them from fulfilling their potential.
When you discriminate against people, you can deprive yourself of having relationships that could enhance and enrich your life. Prejudice and discrimination can be cruel and unfair and can be harmful to every person involved.
This is why you must form each of your opinions (about people) very carefully.
" "But what should I do if I'm not the one who is being prejudiced?" Sekai asked sincerely. I looked directly into my granddaughter's eyes. "Sekai," I said, "you will never be able to control the thoughts and actions of others. But when a person's thoughts or actions are hurtful, you need to avoid being around the person." Sekai nodded in agreement and I continued.
"More important, you should never judge a person until you get to know him or her.

Think of the incredible friend (the kindergarten girl) does not have because of her prejudice.
Don't you think that she's really missing out? Sekai thought for a moment, and then said with conviction, "She really is.
" Living in a family environment in which there are no racial barriers or limitations causes me to grieve for the many people who hang on to prejudices that burden their lives and rob them of potential joy.
And this is exactly what I felt when I heard about the incident involving professor Gates.

I am sad that the matter of racial profiling is still a hot topic of conversation, and I pray for the day when racial prejudice will be completely eradicated. Because, not until then will we truly be the enlightened society that we claim to be.